College Searching

So over the past year and a half I've been college searching. It all started when I wanted to learn how to build myself a house. In the fifth grade, I went to a party at my friend's house. It was beautiful; it reminded me of something out of Romeo and Juliet with balconies and all. Her dad (an architect) designed it himself, and did a wonderful job to say the least. After that, I remember getting really into building stuff on simulators and such. I wanted to build myself a house.
Last year I began my search of schools that could teach me the skills I needed to build myself this mansion. I visited Drury University and had a blast living there for two days. I convinced myself that it would be perfect living there. I liked the thought of joining one of the three sororities. I liked the thought of living on a beautiful campus with people who play bingo on Thursday nights. I loved the five minute walk from the dorm to the architecture building where (I was told) I'd be spending most of my time with professors who stayed up all night to help kids on projects. The architecture building even had a lounge for kids who needed sleep from over-workage. Plus I'd get that much closer to building my house. The only problem was I gave no thoughts on what God wanted me to do. Did He want me to pursue architecture? Did He want me to go to Drury? I remember talking to the host who I stayed with about youth group and church and such. She said after she got to college, she didn't really feel like going anymore. This is a girl who had a blanket made out of youth group shirts. Something didn't seem right, but I didn't let that get me down. The next day, I visited with the choir director who gave me a CD and told me to come back next February to audition for the chamber choir. I listened to the CD all the way home and imagined myself singing in the choir and wore the TShirt they gave me the next school day.
I got to talking to my sweet friend Cynthia about architecture. She gave me a lot of books she used when she was studying architecture. I got even more excited when I started reading them.
That summer was the summer I went to Japan and didn't read my Bible for two weeks and four days...then I went to SEMP and got a slap on the wrist by God. He told me it was silly to leave Him out of my life. I began to listen while I was working at East Iowa Bible Camp (my favorite place...no joke). I took a look at my life and asked if there were anything that I wasn't letting God be a part of. Instantly college came to mind. I didn't even pray about going to college at Drury, let alone think about how God would be involved in my life while I would be attending there. What about my choice of major? I remembered the Bible story about the foolish man building his house upon the sand (Matthew 7). If I had followed through architecture and had built my mansion of dreams, it would all be for not. I wouldn't be happy with it. It wouldn't fill the void in my heart that only Christ can fill. I would be stuck with a gianormous house, a job that I really didn't want in architecture, and an empty heart.
So what did God want me to do about college and my future? I immediately called my friend Sarah right after the epiphany happened. She goes to Pensacola Christian College. I asked her to tell me all about it while I paced the basement floor. She explained to me about all their different rules and class schedules and activities and such. It seemed like such a great idea at the time: to go to a Christian college where everyone has a dress code and rules to follow. She told me to pray and talk to my parents about it. I did and we (my parents and I) looked further into Pensacola. My dad did not like that the school was nonaccredited, and, after a while, I didn't really like the strict rules. So the search continued. I went on college search websites and looked for accredited, Christian colleges (whilst still working at camp).
(Currently I am starting to see some puzzle pieces falling together...and here's the rest of the story to show you the puzzle.)
At camp, I met these pretty amazing guys. We instantly became "Facebook friends" after camp was all said and done (Sad fate....I wish camp never had to end....anyways...). I asked them their opinions of the college they went to (aka John Brown University). The one convinced me that it was the best Christian college out there, the other told me something like he enjoys going there and I should come. At first I didn't really look into it all that much, but after being employed by the first to come visit, I naturally took his advice and began to interrogate my parents about it. My dad said no, it's too far away and we don't have enough information. My mom said to do whatever God wants me to do (...as she always does...*smile*).
I researched the college and everything seemed to be awesome about it...though it was a little pricey. Every day I would ask my dad if I could visit John Brown, and every day I received a no. Finally, one day, I told him that John Brown was starting to become very attractive the more I researched it (...and the more I was coerced to come visit it by Joey. HA!). Dad said he'd think about it. After that, I remember signing up to visit for a weekend in October. It all seemed too good to be true.
John Brown University felt like home. I had a blast sitting out on the grounds with my friends playing guitar, watching a drive-in movie, observing my first rugby game, and sitting in on a class about discipleship. While driving home, it felt like leaving camp. I just wanted to go back.
Next, I applied and was accepted. Then my best friend got interested in going, applied, and was accepted. Some kids at my school visited and said were really excited about going there next year, too. God even supplied my mom with a job to help pay for college. It all seemed so awesome.
Then the money "problem" came. My best friend's parents said she couldn't go because it would be too expensive. Then my friends from school decided the same thing. I started to look at finances too, and they seemed pretty scary. I applied for financial aid and found that I got $2500 dollars...which is a lot, but not enough to pay off a $26000 a year school payment for four years. Was this what God really wanted for me anyways? I didn't even know any girls going to John Brown...only boys. Was that okay? It was too late to apply to a different Christian college (I did visit one in St. Paul Minnesota, but I didn't like it very much). Would I be going to a state university instead? What's more, I got interested in a $5000 "missions" trip to Papua New Guinea with New Tribes Missions. AH! What to do?
I immediately pursued the missions trip. I asked my church friend Cheryl about it. She told me to call New Tribes and to call Rev. Paul Cheshier (a man who had been a missionary to Papua New Guinea for a good part of his life). It took me a while to get up enough courage to call New Tribes and Paul, but I did (I definitely prayed before I did).
I called New Tribes first. They explained to me about the trip, and as I listened more and more, I thought that it didn't seem like a missions trip, but more of a learning experience for college kids going into missions. But, I wanted to do whatever God wanted me to do, so I asked a lot of people to pray for me.
Next I called Paul. He answered all of my questions and gave me some of the best advice I have ever been given. Ask God to show you clearly what path you are to take. So true. That is what I did.
I had a conversation with my dad that night about going to Papua New Guinea. He said I couldn't do that and go to John Brown. It was then I realized that I would have to lay down my dream college to go on a missions trip that I didn't even think I'd be doing any missions work on. So I prayed and told God that if that's what He wanted me to do, I would do it.
Over the next few days, I "tried" looking at the situation in a positive view. It was difficult deciding that I could go to something less what I wanted because God ultimately has the best plan. One evening, my dad pretty much said that he doesn't want me to go to Papua New Guinea because it wouldn't be fair to my mom. You see, my mom works twelve hour shifts sometimes (from 5 to 5). Dad said it wouldn't be fair for me to go off to Papua New Guinea and leave him and my mom to pay for college all by themselves. I decided to give up Papua New Guinea in hopes that that was the right choice.
The next day, a youth job fair was presented over the school announcements. What an answer to prayer. I attended the job fair with my mom and applied to a couple of places (I'm still waiting for replies).
Tonight mom told me that God has provided an insurance company that will pretty much cut payments in half. She says, slowly but surely God has been providing for college finances. So true. He always provides.
I'm still a little shaky on whether I should go to John Brown or Iowa State though because of the whole "I only know guys" thing. But perhaps maybe God does want me to go John Brown and that's why I got to meet those boys at camp, and loved it at John Brown, and didn't want to leave, and was provided with the job fair and lower insurance costs. It's all so confusing, but God is faithful.
"Your lovingkindness, O Lord, extends to the heavens, Your faithfulness reaches to the skies." ~Psalm 36:5