Well, I have less than a month left until I travel down with my mom to Arkansas and pack myself into a room with another person. Golly. Eleven whole hours away from home. Thankfully when I picked this college, I picked it because it felt like home to me.
Wow, "freedom" is almost in my hands. It's odd.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
Graduation and Summer
Well, I am officially a high school alumni. It's bittersweet. I'm going to miss all my beautiful friends that I've made over the past four years, but then again, I have another four years at a new school and many more chances to make friends with more exciting new people.
In two weeks, I will be heading off to college (pre registration program), and hopefully I will meet someone who wants to be my roommate. I'm super excited to be on the JBU campus again. It felt like home when I visited it last October. Wow, time flies! It seems like just yesterday I was working at camp, then learning about JBU, and now I'm actually going there in August...how crazy is that??
Speaking of camp, I'm bummed that I don't get to go this year. I have to stay home and get summer job....that pays me. I just volunteered at camp last year. It rocked. I just want to go back and sleep in a cabin and play piano in chapel and pick flowers for Sarah and make a batch of monster cookies and play plunger ball and build beautiful relationships again. God truly created a little piece of heaven inside of that camp, and I yearn to go back to it....but I have to get a job :P
Maybe next year I can be a kitchen aide or something. Hmm.
Graduation was exciting! I got to read a poem I wrote in front of the biggest crowd I have ever talked to. What a rush! God totally allowed me to get through it without messing up :) Thank you, God! That night was one of the best nights of my entire high school career. It was just so cool having everyone I love around me, and all the speeches were inspiring, and the music was beautiful. I definitely loved the valedictory. The number one of the class of 2010 gave us a speech and it was awesome and funny AND inspiring. At the very end all of my classmates and I got to walk through a long line of all our teachers and hug them and thank them for all they have done. Mr. Herkelman gave me a big hug, so did Mr. O'Dell, whom by the way is moving back to Illinois to be an associate principal next year. Good for him! I'm so glad he's doing what God wants him to do. He especially has been a blessing in my life this past year. His room was a safe haven where I could go and be encouraged for the day.
Here's where I list the teachers who have especially helped me in my highschool career.
I will start with Mr. Moran. He was a great teacher. He always kept his classroom under control and taught people to appreciate others and not to discreminate. He taught me to be myself and have my own voice. He allowed for my creativity to flow, and he would say what he thought about my work which helped me in my writing and in my speaking. He definitely had a dry sense of humor and it was AWESOME! I really enjoyed his classes :)
I've already mentioned Mr. O'Dell. He rocked and was an awesome encouragement to me this past year. His room was definitely a place I could go to and just chill out and be myself. He taught me a lot about history, life, and God. If I did something for him, he would thank me and appreciate me for it which is my love language I've learned. That is one of the things we talked about is the love languages. He taught me a lot about myself and other people.
Next I would like to thank Mr. Grady for making me love an AP course. His AP Economics class is the best, and if you are going to be a senior next year at Kennedy, you had better take it, for it IS the best class you will have at Kennedy (in my opinion). His vibrant attitude always kept me awake even though it was the first class of the day. His teaching habits kept my work in line, too. I always did my homework for his class no matter what. He made the coursework interesting by being interested in it himself. He welcomed questions on the material and made me not afraid to ask questions in his classroom and in other classrooms as well, which stimulated my learning by a lot.
Mrs. Jones is the lady who got me interested in reading. She organized me and got me on the ball with my homework. This is the reason why: she didn't give any extra credit and she graded hard. Every single one of my works cited pages was never good enough. Haha! But that's okay, because it got me to read my work over and over again. She kept control of her classroom, too, even though she had some of the goofiest students with which to deal. From her, I learned to finish the projects that I started. Though she won't be at Kennedy next year, I hope she continues to change students at Harding the way she changed me.
Next I would like to thank Mr. Beall and Mr. Herkelman for believing in me that I could do math and excell in it. They both taught me in a way that I could remember the subject, and it didn't scare me out of my wits to speak up in Mr. Herkelman's class. They both had wonderful senses of humor which helps when it comes to "boring" subjects.
My next thank yous go out to Mrs. Steinmetz and Miss Suiter. They taught science in a way that interested me. In ninth grade, Mrs. Steinmetz really came along side me and helped me to receive my first "A" in science since the sixth grade. I have never been good at science and probably never will be (though I did get that math and science Air Force award....hmmm), but she helped me to see the world around me through fun projects and interesting pictures and videos. Miss Suiter was a friend as well as a teacher. She really loved the subject that she was teaching which helped me to find a love for it. We always had interesting projects to do in her class which really helped me to understand the criteria better. (I am a kinsthetic learner, so I LOVE projects.) I got to look at the moon and stars up close because of her star parties which was top neato for me. She also had a sweet sarcastic sense of humor which I really enjoyed.
Thank you to the art teachers Mrs. Ennis, Mrs. Walsh, and Mr. Scheumuker. You taught me to love art and to be creative. There was always a lot of encouragement and humor in your classrooms. Thanks to you, I've found that I love painting and critiqueing paintings. The museum in Chicago would never be as interesting without you.
Thanks to Mr. Barry Wilson for teaching me a subject that I thought I would never succeed at. I definitely learned a lot in Auto Tech, and I definitely succeeded in the class. Thank you for not giving up in me, and for not treating me like just another one of the boys. You made that class fun with your humor and your hands on learning.
Thank you to Mr. Benedict again for the FCA Lock-In; we could not have done it without you. Thank you for the hands on learning projects that we got to do in your class. I will always remember the Barbie project at the end of the year. Savages!
Thank you to Mrs. Elliot for teaching me how to use my voice and for telling me that my voice doesn't suck. I will always remember you and your sweet self behind the piano smiling at me.
Thank you Mr. Carolin for not only teaching me a different language, but also for giving me a lot of wisdom on life and relationships. You have been an encouragement through some rough times, and I will not forget your smiling face and New York-ian accent. :)
Thank you Mrs. Hrubes for being my AP Calc teacher and for getting me through. You are quaint and cute with your random outbursts of singing and math jokes.
Thank you Brooke Hoover for teaching me how to play guitar. It opened up a new world and a new love to me.
And thank you Mrs. Collins for encouraging me to be myself and follow my dreams. Your encouragement has opened up a whole new world of learning to me for the next for years, and I am excited.
That is the end of my thank you's and rememberances for right now. Kennedy was definitely the most awesome place to be for the past four years.
In two weeks, I will be heading off to college (pre registration program), and hopefully I will meet someone who wants to be my roommate. I'm super excited to be on the JBU campus again. It felt like home when I visited it last October. Wow, time flies! It seems like just yesterday I was working at camp, then learning about JBU, and now I'm actually going there in August...how crazy is that??
Speaking of camp, I'm bummed that I don't get to go this year. I have to stay home and get summer job....that pays me. I just volunteered at camp last year. It rocked. I just want to go back and sleep in a cabin and play piano in chapel and pick flowers for Sarah and make a batch of monster cookies and play plunger ball and build beautiful relationships again. God truly created a little piece of heaven inside of that camp, and I yearn to go back to it....but I have to get a job :P
Maybe next year I can be a kitchen aide or something. Hmm.
Graduation was exciting! I got to read a poem I wrote in front of the biggest crowd I have ever talked to. What a rush! God totally allowed me to get through it without messing up :) Thank you, God! That night was one of the best nights of my entire high school career. It was just so cool having everyone I love around me, and all the speeches were inspiring, and the music was beautiful. I definitely loved the valedictory. The number one of the class of 2010 gave us a speech and it was awesome and funny AND inspiring. At the very end all of my classmates and I got to walk through a long line of all our teachers and hug them and thank them for all they have done. Mr. Herkelman gave me a big hug, so did Mr. O'Dell, whom by the way is moving back to Illinois to be an associate principal next year. Good for him! I'm so glad he's doing what God wants him to do. He especially has been a blessing in my life this past year. His room was a safe haven where I could go and be encouraged for the day.
Here's where I list the teachers who have especially helped me in my highschool career.
I will start with Mr. Moran. He was a great teacher. He always kept his classroom under control and taught people to appreciate others and not to discreminate. He taught me to be myself and have my own voice. He allowed for my creativity to flow, and he would say what he thought about my work which helped me in my writing and in my speaking. He definitely had a dry sense of humor and it was AWESOME! I really enjoyed his classes :)
I've already mentioned Mr. O'Dell. He rocked and was an awesome encouragement to me this past year. His room was definitely a place I could go to and just chill out and be myself. He taught me a lot about history, life, and God. If I did something for him, he would thank me and appreciate me for it which is my love language I've learned. That is one of the things we talked about is the love languages. He taught me a lot about myself and other people.
Next I would like to thank Mr. Grady for making me love an AP course. His AP Economics class is the best, and if you are going to be a senior next year at Kennedy, you had better take it, for it IS the best class you will have at Kennedy (in my opinion). His vibrant attitude always kept me awake even though it was the first class of the day. His teaching habits kept my work in line, too. I always did my homework for his class no matter what. He made the coursework interesting by being interested in it himself. He welcomed questions on the material and made me not afraid to ask questions in his classroom and in other classrooms as well, which stimulated my learning by a lot.
Mrs. Jones is the lady who got me interested in reading. She organized me and got me on the ball with my homework. This is the reason why: she didn't give any extra credit and she graded hard. Every single one of my works cited pages was never good enough. Haha! But that's okay, because it got me to read my work over and over again. She kept control of her classroom, too, even though she had some of the goofiest students with which to deal. From her, I learned to finish the projects that I started. Though she won't be at Kennedy next year, I hope she continues to change students at Harding the way she changed me.
Next I would like to thank Mr. Beall and Mr. Herkelman for believing in me that I could do math and excell in it. They both taught me in a way that I could remember the subject, and it didn't scare me out of my wits to speak up in Mr. Herkelman's class. They both had wonderful senses of humor which helps when it comes to "boring" subjects.
My next thank yous go out to Mrs. Steinmetz and Miss Suiter. They taught science in a way that interested me. In ninth grade, Mrs. Steinmetz really came along side me and helped me to receive my first "A" in science since the sixth grade. I have never been good at science and probably never will be (though I did get that math and science Air Force award....hmmm), but she helped me to see the world around me through fun projects and interesting pictures and videos. Miss Suiter was a friend as well as a teacher. She really loved the subject that she was teaching which helped me to find a love for it. We always had interesting projects to do in her class which really helped me to understand the criteria better. (I am a kinsthetic learner, so I LOVE projects.) I got to look at the moon and stars up close because of her star parties which was top neato for me. She also had a sweet sarcastic sense of humor which I really enjoyed.
Thank you to the art teachers Mrs. Ennis, Mrs. Walsh, and Mr. Scheumuker. You taught me to love art and to be creative. There was always a lot of encouragement and humor in your classrooms. Thanks to you, I've found that I love painting and critiqueing paintings. The museum in Chicago would never be as interesting without you.
Thanks to Mr. Barry Wilson for teaching me a subject that I thought I would never succeed at. I definitely learned a lot in Auto Tech, and I definitely succeeded in the class. Thank you for not giving up in me, and for not treating me like just another one of the boys. You made that class fun with your humor and your hands on learning.
Thank you to Mr. Benedict again for the FCA Lock-In; we could not have done it without you. Thank you for the hands on learning projects that we got to do in your class. I will always remember the Barbie project at the end of the year. Savages!
Thank you to Mrs. Elliot for teaching me how to use my voice and for telling me that my voice doesn't suck. I will always remember you and your sweet self behind the piano smiling at me.
Thank you Mr. Carolin for not only teaching me a different language, but also for giving me a lot of wisdom on life and relationships. You have been an encouragement through some rough times, and I will not forget your smiling face and New York-ian accent. :)
Thank you Mrs. Hrubes for being my AP Calc teacher and for getting me through. You are quaint and cute with your random outbursts of singing and math jokes.
Thank you Brooke Hoover for teaching me how to play guitar. It opened up a new world and a new love to me.
And thank you Mrs. Collins for encouraging me to be myself and follow my dreams. Your encouragement has opened up a whole new world of learning to me for the next for years, and I am excited.
That is the end of my thank you's and rememberances for right now. Kennedy was definitely the most awesome place to be for the past four years.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Prom
Dear Reader,
If you have ever attended a prom, you probably know that it is cut out to be one of the best nights of your high school career. In example, I prove this theory to be correct.
I had a lovely time at prom. This is all due to God who allowed the whole thing to go on like a beautiful sunset. He set everything into its perfect time slot and directed the night like a director would a musical. I had prayed so long and so hard about so many things that would go into the night, and He answered them with a beautiful hug from His fatherly hands.
The day was all in His hands (as it always is, but this time I especially took notice). I had a wonderful time looking at all the gorgeous dresses and faces around me. (The only icky thing about the night was the grindy music/dancing...yuck.) I had the pleasure of dancing with a very awesome friend of mine who flew to Iowa to be my prom date for the night. He rocks and I praise God for giving him safe travels to and from Iowa, and I praise God for my date's kind heart. It takes a really nice person to fly back from college to go to a high school dance the week before finals. He's sweet.
Another of my friends came back from college for the weekend to help me prepare for prom. She waited on me (literally) head and toe for six hours if not more. Spending the day with her made prom that much more special cause she's my bestie. She always makes me laugh even when I am in the darkest of moods and I always have fun with her. (...and always is NOT a hyperbole in this situation!) She has been there for me through thick and thin, and she was there for my prom, too, which was AWESOME! Thank you, God!
I got ready with my other friend who was very excited about the whole thing. I got to do her hair and she looked like a queen in her dress! We went to Biaggis with her date and another couple which was fun. After supper we drove separately to the dance. At Elmcrest, I met with my date.
It really really was a special evening. I wish the day would have gone by sooo much slower, so I could take it all in that much more better. But the memories I did get to make will stick with me for a long long time.
God bless you! Have a great day!
If you have ever attended a prom, you probably know that it is cut out to be one of the best nights of your high school career. In example, I prove this theory to be correct.
I had a lovely time at prom. This is all due to God who allowed the whole thing to go on like a beautiful sunset. He set everything into its perfect time slot and directed the night like a director would a musical. I had prayed so long and so hard about so many things that would go into the night, and He answered them with a beautiful hug from His fatherly hands.
The day was all in His hands (as it always is, but this time I especially took notice). I had a wonderful time looking at all the gorgeous dresses and faces around me. (The only icky thing about the night was the grindy music/dancing...yuck.) I had the pleasure of dancing with a very awesome friend of mine who flew to Iowa to be my prom date for the night. He rocks and I praise God for giving him safe travels to and from Iowa, and I praise God for my date's kind heart. It takes a really nice person to fly back from college to go to a high school dance the week before finals. He's sweet.
Another of my friends came back from college for the weekend to help me prepare for prom. She waited on me (literally) head and toe for six hours if not more. Spending the day with her made prom that much more special cause she's my bestie. She always makes me laugh even when I am in the darkest of moods and I always have fun with her. (...and always is NOT a hyperbole in this situation!) She has been there for me through thick and thin, and she was there for my prom, too, which was AWESOME! Thank you, God!
I got ready with my other friend who was very excited about the whole thing. I got to do her hair and she looked like a queen in her dress! We went to Biaggis with her date and another couple which was fun. After supper we drove separately to the dance. At Elmcrest, I met with my date.
It really really was a special evening. I wish the day would have gone by sooo much slower, so I could take it all in that much more better. But the memories I did get to make will stick with me for a long long time.
God bless you! Have a great day!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Bad Dream
I have to write this down somewhere.
I had a bad dream during my nap this afternoon; so bad that I knew I was dreaming, but I couldn't get myself to wake up from it.
I was walking out of Elmcrest Country Club as happy as could be, on my way to get ready for prom at my house, and I stopped by this area outside the auditorium at Kennedy High School. I saw my friend there just inside in the tech area right off the stage, and he was decked out in zombie makeup for the play Sweeny Todd, but he seemed to be part of the backstage crew. He beckoned me to come to him and his friends were all around him. My exboyfriend was there and he was dressed in a bright turquoise shirt, but he had the same makeup on. As I gave my friend a hug, all these people who were dressed as Sweeny Todd zombies began to flock around us. I ran out of the building and my exboyfriend yelled "get her!"
I was running across a big yard with trees like Daniels Park and there were people with white shirts digging in the dirt, and now that I think about it, it looked liked one of them was building a mud castle; they were all around the outside of the church, some further away than others. The mob of zombie people were getting closer to me. I yelled to all the digging people to get up and fight back, but they wouldn't and just kept digging.
Then somebody beckoned to me from the other side of the church (which looked exactly like the cathedral at John Brown). It was a man dressed in white. He yelled at me to get on the other side of the church. I saw the church and made it my mission to get on the other side where the light was shining and the big doors stood wide open. I ran, but my foot got caught in a big blue tarp which another man in a white shirt was setting out. The zombie people were beginning to surround me from every side, and I was soo close to the other side of the church but I couldn't run because my foot was caught.
It was then that I knew I was asleep, and I tried my hardest to wake up. I could feel my body on the other side of my dream, but it would not move and my eyes would not open. The zombie people kept getting closer and closer, and the last thing I remember were the colors white, yellow, and gray. Then my eyes opened and I was in my living room again.
My heart was beating soo fast. I got up and started writing a song on my piano about how the darkness is taking over the world and we as Christians need to stand up and share the light.
That is all. I think I understand my dream pretty thoroughly, but maybe not.
I had a bad dream during my nap this afternoon; so bad that I knew I was dreaming, but I couldn't get myself to wake up from it.
I was walking out of Elmcrest Country Club as happy as could be, on my way to get ready for prom at my house, and I stopped by this area outside the auditorium at Kennedy High School. I saw my friend there just inside in the tech area right off the stage, and he was decked out in zombie makeup for the play Sweeny Todd, but he seemed to be part of the backstage crew. He beckoned me to come to him and his friends were all around him. My exboyfriend was there and he was dressed in a bright turquoise shirt, but he had the same makeup on. As I gave my friend a hug, all these people who were dressed as Sweeny Todd zombies began to flock around us. I ran out of the building and my exboyfriend yelled "get her!"
I was running across a big yard with trees like Daniels Park and there were people with white shirts digging in the dirt, and now that I think about it, it looked liked one of them was building a mud castle; they were all around the outside of the church, some further away than others. The mob of zombie people were getting closer to me. I yelled to all the digging people to get up and fight back, but they wouldn't and just kept digging.
Then somebody beckoned to me from the other side of the church (which looked exactly like the cathedral at John Brown). It was a man dressed in white. He yelled at me to get on the other side of the church. I saw the church and made it my mission to get on the other side where the light was shining and the big doors stood wide open. I ran, but my foot got caught in a big blue tarp which another man in a white shirt was setting out. The zombie people were beginning to surround me from every side, and I was soo close to the other side of the church but I couldn't run because my foot was caught.
It was then that I knew I was asleep, and I tried my hardest to wake up. I could feel my body on the other side of my dream, but it would not move and my eyes would not open. The zombie people kept getting closer and closer, and the last thing I remember were the colors white, yellow, and gray. Then my eyes opened and I was in my living room again.
My heart was beating soo fast. I got up and started writing a song on my piano about how the darkness is taking over the world and we as Christians need to stand up and share the light.
That is all. I think I understand my dream pretty thoroughly, but maybe not.
Monday, April 19, 2010
FCA LockIn and Stuff
So April has flown by, mostly due to all the busyness which has kept me occupied for the past however many months. This weekend comes close to first for the most hectic, awesome weekend of my life, but let me start at the beginning.
On April Fool's Day, instead of playing pranks, I lay in bed sick with a bad cold. It helped me to get some well needed rest before all the things I needed to get done. God certainly blessed my body by keeping me home to spend a day with my mom before a period of days when we wouldn't see eachother for more than a few minutes. (This is because God has blessed my mother with a job that keeps her active for 12 hours in a day. We prayed heartily for this job, and she loves it....most of the time. :] ) That day, my Uncle David and Aunt Joanne came and visited us to spend Easter time with my mom and my grandma. My brother Dan and his wife came over, and we all spent quality time eating pizza and talking about many different things.
The next day, Aunt Joanne and Uncle David left, and my family welcomed my Aunt Nancy and Uncle Bob into our house. Our quality time was spent discussing politics which is something that has started interesting me more and more (though I can only listen to so much at one point in time). I had a half day of school which was awesome! I always enjoy half days because there is so much more potential to do something in the afternoon. I think I spent most of my time cleaning the house and reading Anne of Green Gables (a newly found favorite of mine).
On April 3rd, I enjoyed the company of my dear friend Leah, who was back from college for Easter weekend. We shopped around at Half Price Books and West Music. Later we perused around in David's Bridal talking of weddings that are not happening and gaining funny glances from the bridal consultants. It was so much fun and really enjoy being in stores with soo many beautiful things to look at and critique. I went home to a wonderful dinner of ham and potatoes and biscuits, and it was delicious. That night I went on a (not-so)secret mission to buy my mom Easter candy at Target.
The next day was Easter--the glorious day when Jesus arose from the dead defeating sin and death and proving that He truly is God's Son. I woke up to an Easter basket full of Twix bars (another favorite) and a heart full of joy. Our church held a cantata service, which I always enjoy, and it was beautiful. I truly hope God spoke to the hearts of all the nonbelievers in the congregation that day through the singing of the cantata. It was awesome.
The next two weeks were spent planning and organizing the FCA LockIn that happened this past weekend. I was responsible for the musical worship and the message of the night. We invited Thad Joyce (the youth pastor at Maranatha Bible Church) to come and present the gospel. It's an amazing story because he had been waiting for this opportunity to come back to Kennedy and spread the Good News (being a former nonChristian Kennedy student). Isn't that awesome?! Nick and I gathered a couple five songs for musical worship. The songs were "Meet With Me" by Ten Shekel Shirt, "Beautiful One" by Jeremy Camp, "Every Move I Make", "Lord I Lift Your Name On Hight", and "Light the Fire".
The LockIn went really well, I hope that the message there impacted all the people who came. There were three testimonies given, and a lot of Good News shared to people. I stayed up all night, but there was a lot to occupy me with. I played guitar for a good chunk of it. There was a lot of activity that happened all night long. Only about 10 people out of 50 slept which is crazy! We played kickball at 3am! So good! The rest of the night was spent surrounded by a group of people listening to me play guitar and sing softly as they went to sleep. Clean up wasn't too bad either. But when I got home, I crashed. I slept from 8am to 2pm and then again from 6pm to 8:30 am the next day. It was great.
Now there's this event going on at my church called Spring Bible Conference where a speaker from outside of our church comes in and does a series of sermons on one topic for three days. This time a man named Dr. Ronald Allen is speaking on worship, which is such a gift from God. In my life, I've only ever really understood worship to be singing and playing instruments for God, so I hope I can learn other means of worshipping God with my body.
Yesterday, Dr. Allen talked about worshipping in Spirit and in Truth which comes from the heart. He told us that worshipping is "not about the state of the art, but about the state of the heart" which really stuck out to me. A lot of times while I am playing guitar for youth group, I am sadly just trying to sound good and not mess up, but God sees this as ugly, because my mind is not on Him.
Last night, I truly tried to play from my heart as worship team played three songs for the beginning of the sermon. It is soo much more wonderful when I am glorifying God, than when I am trying to sound good.
And with that, I will end because the passing bell is about to ring. Have a great day and God bless you!
On April Fool's Day, instead of playing pranks, I lay in bed sick with a bad cold. It helped me to get some well needed rest before all the things I needed to get done. God certainly blessed my body by keeping me home to spend a day with my mom before a period of days when we wouldn't see eachother for more than a few minutes. (This is because God has blessed my mother with a job that keeps her active for 12 hours in a day. We prayed heartily for this job, and she loves it....most of the time. :] ) That day, my Uncle David and Aunt Joanne came and visited us to spend Easter time with my mom and my grandma. My brother Dan and his wife came over, and we all spent quality time eating pizza and talking about many different things.
The next day, Aunt Joanne and Uncle David left, and my family welcomed my Aunt Nancy and Uncle Bob into our house. Our quality time was spent discussing politics which is something that has started interesting me more and more (though I can only listen to so much at one point in time). I had a half day of school which was awesome! I always enjoy half days because there is so much more potential to do something in the afternoon. I think I spent most of my time cleaning the house and reading Anne of Green Gables (a newly found favorite of mine).
On April 3rd, I enjoyed the company of my dear friend Leah, who was back from college for Easter weekend. We shopped around at Half Price Books and West Music. Later we perused around in David's Bridal talking of weddings that are not happening and gaining funny glances from the bridal consultants. It was so much fun and really enjoy being in stores with soo many beautiful things to look at and critique. I went home to a wonderful dinner of ham and potatoes and biscuits, and it was delicious. That night I went on a (not-so)secret mission to buy my mom Easter candy at Target.
The next day was Easter--the glorious day when Jesus arose from the dead defeating sin and death and proving that He truly is God's Son. I woke up to an Easter basket full of Twix bars (another favorite) and a heart full of joy. Our church held a cantata service, which I always enjoy, and it was beautiful. I truly hope God spoke to the hearts of all the nonbelievers in the congregation that day through the singing of the cantata. It was awesome.
The next two weeks were spent planning and organizing the FCA LockIn that happened this past weekend. I was responsible for the musical worship and the message of the night. We invited Thad Joyce (the youth pastor at Maranatha Bible Church) to come and present the gospel. It's an amazing story because he had been waiting for this opportunity to come back to Kennedy and spread the Good News (being a former nonChristian Kennedy student). Isn't that awesome?! Nick and I gathered a couple five songs for musical worship. The songs were "Meet With Me" by Ten Shekel Shirt, "Beautiful One" by Jeremy Camp, "Every Move I Make", "Lord I Lift Your Name On Hight", and "Light the Fire".
The LockIn went really well, I hope that the message there impacted all the people who came. There were three testimonies given, and a lot of Good News shared to people. I stayed up all night, but there was a lot to occupy me with. I played guitar for a good chunk of it. There was a lot of activity that happened all night long. Only about 10 people out of 50 slept which is crazy! We played kickball at 3am! So good! The rest of the night was spent surrounded by a group of people listening to me play guitar and sing softly as they went to sleep. Clean up wasn't too bad either. But when I got home, I crashed. I slept from 8am to 2pm and then again from 6pm to 8:30 am the next day. It was great.
Now there's this event going on at my church called Spring Bible Conference where a speaker from outside of our church comes in and does a series of sermons on one topic for three days. This time a man named Dr. Ronald Allen is speaking on worship, which is such a gift from God. In my life, I've only ever really understood worship to be singing and playing instruments for God, so I hope I can learn other means of worshipping God with my body.
Yesterday, Dr. Allen talked about worshipping in Spirit and in Truth which comes from the heart. He told us that worshipping is "not about the state of the art, but about the state of the heart" which really stuck out to me. A lot of times while I am playing guitar for youth group, I am sadly just trying to sound good and not mess up, but God sees this as ugly, because my mind is not on Him.
Last night, I truly tried to play from my heart as worship team played three songs for the beginning of the sermon. It is soo much more wonderful when I am glorifying God, than when I am trying to sound good.
And with that, I will end because the passing bell is about to ring. Have a great day and God bless you!
Monday, March 29, 2010
This Past Month I....
So as you who might usually read my blog see...I haven't blogged anything for the past month. It most certainly has been a crazy awesome month. Three weeks ago, an exchange student from Japan came and lived at my house for a while. Her name is Nako and she is really sweet! We did a lot of "American" things like bowling, ice skating, eating fatty foods, and the last day the students were here, we went to the Mall of America. I had a blast with her and we taught eachother how to make different meals. She learned how to play some easy chords on guitar. We watched the Miyazaki film "Ponyo" with my friend Kelsey.
I can't wait to see that girl again! I hope I get to visit her in Japan sometime :)
I can't wait to see that girl again! I hope I get to visit her in Japan sometime :)
Friday, March 5, 2010
Line Dancing
Dear Readers,
If you haven't experienced line dancing (besides the cha cha slide) then you are really missing out! PAH! IT WAS SOOO AWESOME! Thank you, God, for country people!
That's all ;)
If you haven't experienced line dancing (besides the cha cha slide) then you are really missing out! PAH! IT WAS SOOO AWESOME! Thank you, God, for country people!
That's all ;)
Monday, March 1, 2010
When You're Worried: Pray
Philippians 4:6-7
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Sunday, February 28, 2010
:)
So recently God has opened another door to John Brown: I just got accepted into the Honors Program, which is sweet! :)
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Today I Feel: Blessed :)
So I'm reading the book of Leviticus right now. It's all about the laws which the Israelites lived under way back before Jesus came to earth. Reading Leviticus makes me feel blessed that God chose to make me live nowadays instead of way back then. I'm the type of person who feels bad if they run over squirrels when they run across the road; I can't even imagine sacrificing animals. God is so wonderful for sending His only Son to die on the cross for our sins so we can have a personal relationship with Him. That alone is soo unfathomably awesome! It's just an extra plus that we don't have to sacrifice animals anymore because we're under a new covenant (read all about it in Hebrews).
Monday, February 22, 2010
College Searching
So over the past year and a half I've been college searching. It all started when I wanted to learn how to build myself a house. In the fifth grade, I went to a party at my friend's house. It was beautiful; it reminded me of something out of Romeo and Juliet with balconies and all. Her dad (an architect) designed it himself, and did a wonderful job to say the least. After that, I remember getting really into building stuff on simulators and such. I wanted to build myself a house.
Last year I began my search of schools that could teach me the skills I needed to build myself this mansion. I visited Drury University and had a blast living there for two days. I convinced myself that it would be perfect living there. I liked the thought of joining one of the three sororities. I liked the thought of living on a beautiful campus with people who play bingo on Thursday nights. I loved the five minute walk from the dorm to the architecture building where (I was told) I'd be spending most of my time with professors who stayed up all night to help kids on projects. The architecture building even had a lounge for kids who needed sleep from over-workage. Plus I'd get that much closer to building my house. The only problem was I gave no thoughts on what God wanted me to do. Did He want me to pursue architecture? Did He want me to go to Drury? I remember talking to the host who I stayed with about youth group and church and such. She said after she got to college, she didn't really feel like going anymore. This is a girl who had a blanket made out of youth group shirts. Something didn't seem right, but I didn't let that get me down. The next day, I visited with the choir director who gave me a CD and told me to come back next February to audition for the chamber choir. I listened to the CD all the way home and imagined myself singing in the choir and wore the TShirt they gave me the next school day.
I got to talking to my sweet friend Cynthia about architecture. She gave me a lot of books she used when she was studying architecture. I got even more excited when I started reading them.
That summer was the summer I went to Japan and didn't read my Bible for two weeks and four days...then I went to SEMP and got a slap on the wrist by God. He told me it was silly to leave Him out of my life. I began to listen while I was working at East Iowa Bible Camp (my favorite place...no joke). I took a look at my life and asked if there were anything that I wasn't letting God be a part of. Instantly college came to mind. I didn't even pray about going to college at Drury, let alone think about how God would be involved in my life while I would be attending there. What about my choice of major? I remembered the Bible story about the foolish man building his house upon the sand (Matthew 7). If I had followed through architecture and had built my mansion of dreams, it would all be for not. I wouldn't be happy with it. It wouldn't fill the void in my heart that only Christ can fill. I would be stuck with a gianormous house, a job that I really didn't want in architecture, and an empty heart.
So what did God want me to do about college and my future? I immediately called my friend Sarah right after the epiphany happened. She goes to Pensacola Christian College. I asked her to tell me all about it while I paced the basement floor. She explained to me about all their different rules and class schedules and activities and such. It seemed like such a great idea at the time: to go to a Christian college where everyone has a dress code and rules to follow. She told me to pray and talk to my parents about it. I did and we (my parents and I) looked further into Pensacola. My dad did not like that the school was nonaccredited, and, after a while, I didn't really like the strict rules. So the search continued. I went on college search websites and looked for accredited, Christian colleges (whilst still working at camp).
(Currently I am starting to see some puzzle pieces falling together...and here's the rest of the story to show you the puzzle.)
At camp, I met these pretty amazing guys. We instantly became "Facebook friends" after camp was all said and done (Sad fate....I wish camp never had to end....anyways...). I asked them their opinions of the college they went to (aka John Brown University). The one convinced me that it was the best Christian college out there, the other told me something like he enjoys going there and I should come. At first I didn't really look into it all that much, but after being employed by the first to come visit, I naturally took his advice and began to interrogate my parents about it. My dad said no, it's too far away and we don't have enough information. My mom said to do whatever God wants me to do (...as she always does...*smile*).
I researched the college and everything seemed to be awesome about it...though it was a little pricey. Every day I would ask my dad if I could visit John Brown, and every day I received a no. Finally, one day, I told him that John Brown was starting to become very attractive the more I researched it (...and the more I was coerced to come visit it by Joey. HA!). Dad said he'd think about it. After that, I remember signing up to visit for a weekend in October. It all seemed too good to be true.
John Brown University felt like home. I had a blast sitting out on the grounds with my friends playing guitar, watching a drive-in movie, observing my first rugby game, and sitting in on a class about discipleship. While driving home, it felt like leaving camp. I just wanted to go back.
Next, I applied and was accepted. Then my best friend got interested in going, applied, and was accepted. Some kids at my school visited and said were really excited about going there next year, too. God even supplied my mom with a job to help pay for college. It all seemed so awesome.
Then the money "problem" came. My best friend's parents said she couldn't go because it would be too expensive. Then my friends from school decided the same thing. I started to look at finances too, and they seemed pretty scary. I applied for financial aid and found that I got $2500 dollars...which is a lot, but not enough to pay off a $26000 a year school payment for four years. Was this what God really wanted for me anyways? I didn't even know any girls going to John Brown...only boys. Was that okay? It was too late to apply to a different Christian college (I did visit one in St. Paul Minnesota, but I didn't like it very much). Would I be going to a state university instead? What's more, I got interested in a $5000 "missions" trip to Papua New Guinea with New Tribes Missions. AH! What to do?
I immediately pursued the missions trip. I asked my church friend Cheryl about it. She told me to call New Tribes and to call Rev. Paul Cheshier (a man who had been a missionary to Papua New Guinea for a good part of his life). It took me a while to get up enough courage to call New Tribes and Paul, but I did (I definitely prayed before I did).
I called New Tribes first. They explained to me about the trip, and as I listened more and more, I thought that it didn't seem like a missions trip, but more of a learning experience for college kids going into missions. But, I wanted to do whatever God wanted me to do, so I asked a lot of people to pray for me.
Next I called Paul. He answered all of my questions and gave me some of the best advice I have ever been given. Ask God to show you clearly what path you are to take. So true. That is what I did.
I had a conversation with my dad that night about going to Papua New Guinea. He said I couldn't do that and go to John Brown. It was then I realized that I would have to lay down my dream college to go on a missions trip that I didn't even think I'd be doing any missions work on. So I prayed and told God that if that's what He wanted me to do, I would do it.
Over the next few days, I "tried" looking at the situation in a positive view. It was difficult deciding that I could go to something less what I wanted because God ultimately has the best plan. One evening, my dad pretty much said that he doesn't want me to go to Papua New Guinea because it wouldn't be fair to my mom. You see, my mom works twelve hour shifts sometimes (from 5 to 5). Dad said it wouldn't be fair for me to go off to Papua New Guinea and leave him and my mom to pay for college all by themselves. I decided to give up Papua New Guinea in hopes that that was the right choice.
The next day, a youth job fair was presented over the school announcements. What an answer to prayer. I attended the job fair with my mom and applied to a couple of places (I'm still waiting for replies).
Tonight mom told me that God has provided an insurance company that will pretty much cut payments in half. She says, slowly but surely God has been providing for college finances. So true. He always provides.
I'm still a little shaky on whether I should go to John Brown or Iowa State though because of the whole "I only know guys" thing. But perhaps maybe God does want me to go John Brown and that's why I got to meet those boys at camp, and loved it at John Brown, and didn't want to leave, and was provided with the job fair and lower insurance costs. It's all so confusing, but God is faithful.
"Your lovingkindness, O Lord, extends to the heavens, Your faithfulness reaches to the skies." ~Psalm 36:5
Last year I began my search of schools that could teach me the skills I needed to build myself this mansion. I visited Drury University and had a blast living there for two days. I convinced myself that it would be perfect living there. I liked the thought of joining one of the three sororities. I liked the thought of living on a beautiful campus with people who play bingo on Thursday nights. I loved the five minute walk from the dorm to the architecture building where (I was told) I'd be spending most of my time with professors who stayed up all night to help kids on projects. The architecture building even had a lounge for kids who needed sleep from over-workage. Plus I'd get that much closer to building my house. The only problem was I gave no thoughts on what God wanted me to do. Did He want me to pursue architecture? Did He want me to go to Drury? I remember talking to the host who I stayed with about youth group and church and such. She said after she got to college, she didn't really feel like going anymore. This is a girl who had a blanket made out of youth group shirts. Something didn't seem right, but I didn't let that get me down. The next day, I visited with the choir director who gave me a CD and told me to come back next February to audition for the chamber choir. I listened to the CD all the way home and imagined myself singing in the choir and wore the TShirt they gave me the next school day.
I got to talking to my sweet friend Cynthia about architecture. She gave me a lot of books she used when she was studying architecture. I got even more excited when I started reading them.
That summer was the summer I went to Japan and didn't read my Bible for two weeks and four days...then I went to SEMP and got a slap on the wrist by God. He told me it was silly to leave Him out of my life. I began to listen while I was working at East Iowa Bible Camp (my favorite place...no joke). I took a look at my life and asked if there were anything that I wasn't letting God be a part of. Instantly college came to mind. I didn't even pray about going to college at Drury, let alone think about how God would be involved in my life while I would be attending there. What about my choice of major? I remembered the Bible story about the foolish man building his house upon the sand (Matthew 7). If I had followed through architecture and had built my mansion of dreams, it would all be for not. I wouldn't be happy with it. It wouldn't fill the void in my heart that only Christ can fill. I would be stuck with a gianormous house, a job that I really didn't want in architecture, and an empty heart.
So what did God want me to do about college and my future? I immediately called my friend Sarah right after the epiphany happened. She goes to Pensacola Christian College. I asked her to tell me all about it while I paced the basement floor. She explained to me about all their different rules and class schedules and activities and such. It seemed like such a great idea at the time: to go to a Christian college where everyone has a dress code and rules to follow. She told me to pray and talk to my parents about it. I did and we (my parents and I) looked further into Pensacola. My dad did not like that the school was nonaccredited, and, after a while, I didn't really like the strict rules. So the search continued. I went on college search websites and looked for accredited, Christian colleges (whilst still working at camp).
(Currently I am starting to see some puzzle pieces falling together...and here's the rest of the story to show you the puzzle.)
At camp, I met these pretty amazing guys. We instantly became "Facebook friends" after camp was all said and done (Sad fate....I wish camp never had to end....anyways...). I asked them their opinions of the college they went to (aka John Brown University). The one convinced me that it was the best Christian college out there, the other told me something like he enjoys going there and I should come. At first I didn't really look into it all that much, but after being employed by the first to come visit, I naturally took his advice and began to interrogate my parents about it. My dad said no, it's too far away and we don't have enough information. My mom said to do whatever God wants me to do (...as she always does...*smile*).
I researched the college and everything seemed to be awesome about it...though it was a little pricey. Every day I would ask my dad if I could visit John Brown, and every day I received a no. Finally, one day, I told him that John Brown was starting to become very attractive the more I researched it (...and the more I was coerced to come visit it by Joey. HA!). Dad said he'd think about it. After that, I remember signing up to visit for a weekend in October. It all seemed too good to be true.
John Brown University felt like home. I had a blast sitting out on the grounds with my friends playing guitar, watching a drive-in movie, observing my first rugby game, and sitting in on a class about discipleship. While driving home, it felt like leaving camp. I just wanted to go back.
Next, I applied and was accepted. Then my best friend got interested in going, applied, and was accepted. Some kids at my school visited and said were really excited about going there next year, too. God even supplied my mom with a job to help pay for college. It all seemed so awesome.
Then the money "problem" came. My best friend's parents said she couldn't go because it would be too expensive. Then my friends from school decided the same thing. I started to look at finances too, and they seemed pretty scary. I applied for financial aid and found that I got $2500 dollars...which is a lot, but not enough to pay off a $26000 a year school payment for four years. Was this what God really wanted for me anyways? I didn't even know any girls going to John Brown...only boys. Was that okay? It was too late to apply to a different Christian college (I did visit one in St. Paul Minnesota, but I didn't like it very much). Would I be going to a state university instead? What's more, I got interested in a $5000 "missions" trip to Papua New Guinea with New Tribes Missions. AH! What to do?
I immediately pursued the missions trip. I asked my church friend Cheryl about it. She told me to call New Tribes and to call Rev. Paul Cheshier (a man who had been a missionary to Papua New Guinea for a good part of his life). It took me a while to get up enough courage to call New Tribes and Paul, but I did (I definitely prayed before I did).
I called New Tribes first. They explained to me about the trip, and as I listened more and more, I thought that it didn't seem like a missions trip, but more of a learning experience for college kids going into missions. But, I wanted to do whatever God wanted me to do, so I asked a lot of people to pray for me.
Next I called Paul. He answered all of my questions and gave me some of the best advice I have ever been given. Ask God to show you clearly what path you are to take. So true. That is what I did.
I had a conversation with my dad that night about going to Papua New Guinea. He said I couldn't do that and go to John Brown. It was then I realized that I would have to lay down my dream college to go on a missions trip that I didn't even think I'd be doing any missions work on. So I prayed and told God that if that's what He wanted me to do, I would do it.
Over the next few days, I "tried" looking at the situation in a positive view. It was difficult deciding that I could go to something less what I wanted because God ultimately has the best plan. One evening, my dad pretty much said that he doesn't want me to go to Papua New Guinea because it wouldn't be fair to my mom. You see, my mom works twelve hour shifts sometimes (from 5 to 5). Dad said it wouldn't be fair for me to go off to Papua New Guinea and leave him and my mom to pay for college all by themselves. I decided to give up Papua New Guinea in hopes that that was the right choice.
The next day, a youth job fair was presented over the school announcements. What an answer to prayer. I attended the job fair with my mom and applied to a couple of places (I'm still waiting for replies).
Tonight mom told me that God has provided an insurance company that will pretty much cut payments in half. She says, slowly but surely God has been providing for college finances. So true. He always provides.
I'm still a little shaky on whether I should go to John Brown or Iowa State though because of the whole "I only know guys" thing. But perhaps maybe God does want me to go John Brown and that's why I got to meet those boys at camp, and loved it at John Brown, and didn't want to leave, and was provided with the job fair and lower insurance costs. It's all so confusing, but God is faithful.
"Your lovingkindness, O Lord, extends to the heavens, Your faithfulness reaches to the skies." ~Psalm 36:5
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Desires
"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." ~Psalm 37:4
dictionary.com-definition of desire-to wish or long for; crave; want
What could this verse mean? I'll take a step back for a minute. This verse in particular could be related to that of Matthew 7:7
"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you."
Some people think "ok, so if I ask God for a car, it will be given to me, right?" Not precisely (though my mom asked God for a new piano, and He gave it to her....but that's another story...). You see, God loves to give us good things, but if we selfishly ask for things just for our own pleasure for the will of noone but ourselves, what is his initiative to give it? Zero.
dictionary.com-definition of delight-to have great pleasure; take pleasure
The first part of Psalm 37:4 says to "delight yourself in the Lord". I figure this means making Him our first priority, our God of our lives. Giving Him the ultimate authority of our lives. With humble love.
If we delight ourselves in the Lord, then our desires will usually line up with His will. We will desire to obey Him, and therefore will ask for His perfect will to be done in our lives.
Anyways, have a nice day! Remember to delight in the Lord! Let Him be your desire.
dictionary.com-definition of desire-to wish or long for; crave; want
What could this verse mean? I'll take a step back for a minute. This verse in particular could be related to that of Matthew 7:7
"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you."
Some people think "ok, so if I ask God for a car, it will be given to me, right?" Not precisely (though my mom asked God for a new piano, and He gave it to her....but that's another story...). You see, God loves to give us good things, but if we selfishly ask for things just for our own pleasure for the will of noone but ourselves, what is his initiative to give it? Zero.
dictionary.com-definition of delight-to have great pleasure; take pleasure
The first part of Psalm 37:4 says to "delight yourself in the Lord". I figure this means making Him our first priority, our God of our lives. Giving Him the ultimate authority of our lives. With humble love.
If we delight ourselves in the Lord, then our desires will usually line up with His will. We will desire to obey Him, and therefore will ask for His perfect will to be done in our lives.
Anyways, have a nice day! Remember to delight in the Lord! Let Him be your desire.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Prayer
You know, yesterday I finished reading CS Lewis' Mere Christianity. It wasn't an easy read, but I did learn a lot of things.
One was that I must give up myself in order to find myself. Tough to understand, eh? Lewis explained in order for Christ to reveal my true new self in Him, I must give up all my worldly passions. Lewis also says that I can't do it by myself, but through God's help, I can truly become "perfect".
Please prayer for me in this area.
Have a great day! And remember God loves you so much that He sent His only begotten Son to die on a cross to take away your sins so you can have a relationship with Him!
How truly blessed we are!
One was that I must give up myself in order to find myself. Tough to understand, eh? Lewis explained in order for Christ to reveal my true new self in Him, I must give up all my worldly passions. Lewis also says that I can't do it by myself, but through God's help, I can truly become "perfect".
Please prayer for me in this area.
Have a great day! And remember God loves you so much that He sent His only begotten Son to die on a cross to take away your sins so you can have a relationship with Him!
How truly blessed we are!
Monday, February 1, 2010
Praise
In the morning, I will lift Your name on high
In the afternoon, I will stretch my hands toward the sky
In the evening, I will find the words to sing
In the night, I will let the praise ring
You are holy, You are worthy, You are lovely, God, You are mighty
You speak to me, see right through me, and You always know what I'm thinking
You're forgiving, You're life giving, and You never change, yeah, You're always the same
And every day I live, I will praise Your name
When I'm happy, I will let Your praises flow
God I love You, and I want the world to know
When I'm troubled, I will call upon Your name
And You'll come, and I'll hide inside Your wings
You are holy, You are worthy, You are lovely, God, You are mighty
You speak to me, see right through me, and You always know what I'm thinking
You're forgiving, You're life giving, and You never change, yeah, You're always the same
And every day I live, I will praise Your name
The Rock of Salvation, the Great I Am
The firm foundation on which I can stand
Entirely perfect, incredible Light
The Author of earth, the Redeemer of life
You're my desire
You are holy, You are worthy, You are lovely, God, You are mighty
You speak to me, see right through me, and You always know what I'm thinking
You're forgiving, You're life giving, and You never change, yeah, You're always the same
And every day I live, I will praise Your name
In the afternoon, I will stretch my hands toward the sky
In the evening, I will find the words to sing
In the night, I will let the praise ring
You are holy, You are worthy, You are lovely, God, You are mighty
You speak to me, see right through me, and You always know what I'm thinking
You're forgiving, You're life giving, and You never change, yeah, You're always the same
And every day I live, I will praise Your name
When I'm happy, I will let Your praises flow
God I love You, and I want the world to know
When I'm troubled, I will call upon Your name
And You'll come, and I'll hide inside Your wings
You are holy, You are worthy, You are lovely, God, You are mighty
You speak to me, see right through me, and You always know what I'm thinking
You're forgiving, You're life giving, and You never change, yeah, You're always the same
And every day I live, I will praise Your name
The Rock of Salvation, the Great I Am
The firm foundation on which I can stand
Entirely perfect, incredible Light
The Author of earth, the Redeemer of life
You're my desire
You are holy, You are worthy, You are lovely, God, You are mighty
You speak to me, see right through me, and You always know what I'm thinking
You're forgiving, You're life giving, and You never change, yeah, You're always the same
And every day I live, I will praise Your name
Friday, January 29, 2010
Winter Retreat
Very soon I will be leaving for winter retreat with my youth group. Every year, this has been my favorite winter activity (well, besides Christmas).
Our youth group takes a trip to East Iowa Bible Camp. We stay in air conditioned cabins, connect through different activities, go to sessions where we learn about God, and drink lovely amounts of hot chocolate.
This time my friend Lauren and I are leading music worship. We have practiced the last two weekends and gathered a couple of songs to play and a couple of songs to teach. One of the songs is called "Hungry" by Kathryn Scott. It is a beautiful song about coming broken to God and waiting for His healing. I'm really excited to share it with the rest of our youth group.
Recently I've been learning about using gentleness and patience in really tough situations. It is definitely a very hard lesson especially since I've been so used to reacting in an unpatient, ungentle way. Each care that gets thrown at me, I am told to be patient.
"Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord." ~Psalm 27:14
David who initially said this had a ton of hard things to deal with: his best friend's dad was so jealous that he tried to kill him, he went up against a giant with just a sling and a couple of stones, his dad didn't really care for him....the list goes on. I can really learn from his example among others how to treat those who treat me in a not so loving way. Because like Paul said,
"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." ~Romans 12:21
Our youth group takes a trip to East Iowa Bible Camp. We stay in air conditioned cabins, connect through different activities, go to sessions where we learn about God, and drink lovely amounts of hot chocolate.
This time my friend Lauren and I are leading music worship. We have practiced the last two weekends and gathered a couple of songs to play and a couple of songs to teach. One of the songs is called "Hungry" by Kathryn Scott. It is a beautiful song about coming broken to God and waiting for His healing. I'm really excited to share it with the rest of our youth group.
Recently I've been learning about using gentleness and patience in really tough situations. It is definitely a very hard lesson especially since I've been so used to reacting in an unpatient, ungentle way. Each care that gets thrown at me, I am told to be patient.
"Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord." ~Psalm 27:14
David who initially said this had a ton of hard things to deal with: his best friend's dad was so jealous that he tried to kill him, he went up against a giant with just a sling and a couple of stones, his dad didn't really care for him....the list goes on. I can really learn from his example among others how to treat those who treat me in a not so loving way. Because like Paul said,
"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." ~Romans 12:21
(google pic)
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Broken World
Little girl of sixteen years
Heart as broken as can be
And it's so hard to hide your tears
When you feel so lonely
When everyone has let you down
And there are no more tears to cry
And there is no where else to run
Run to God. He'll lift you high
Yeah, He's lifted me on high
The mom that prays with all her might
Her son is fighting in the war
It's hard for her to sleep at night
Her cares aren't easy to ignore
When she receives her first letter
And he says everything's okay
She feels so much better
She knows that God planned it that way
She knows that God will make a way
All the children sit in Haiti
Look to us with fearful eyes
Though the earth rained down upon them
All their mouths are running dry
And where was God when they fell down?
And where was God when their mothers lost their hope?
I think I'll know where He'll be
He'll be welcoming them home
Yeah, He was welcoming them home
"He will cover you with His pinions, And under His wings you may seek refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark."
~Psalm 91:4 (NASB)
Heart as broken as can be
And it's so hard to hide your tears
When you feel so lonely
When everyone has let you down
And there are no more tears to cry
And there is no where else to run
Run to God. He'll lift you high
Yeah, He's lifted me on high
The mom that prays with all her might
Her son is fighting in the war
It's hard for her to sleep at night
Her cares aren't easy to ignore
When she receives her first letter
And he says everything's okay
She feels so much better
She knows that God planned it that way
She knows that God will make a way
All the children sit in Haiti
Look to us with fearful eyes
Though the earth rained down upon them
All their mouths are running dry
And where was God when they fell down?
And where was God when their mothers lost their hope?
I think I'll know where He'll be
He'll be welcoming them home
Yeah, He was welcoming them home
"He will cover you with His pinions, And under His wings you may seek refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark."
~Psalm 91:4 (NASB)
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Time
I haven't had much time to blog recently on account that my life has been filled with school and extra-cirricular activites. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the somewhat hecticness of everything I get to do in the average day....I even sometimes like going to school for learning's sake, but it's really nice to just sit and relax, or lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling and think about things, or play guitar with no real purpose except just to play the guitar.
Junior year, I had a problem with having too many things to do, and not enough time to do them. I had a couple of hard classes in school which devoted a good chunk of my home time to homework; I had a job every day of the week except for weekends; I started to become more involved in my church with youth group leadership team and worship team; on top of all that, I had to feed myself and get sleep. I never had any time to sit and recollect about what had happened during the day or play guitar for the sake of playing guitar or think about how I could further my walk with God. It was kind of depressing and really tiring. Though I enjoyed all the things I did, I left out a couple of important things: God time and me time.
The first being the most important. The summer after my junior year, I went off to Japan. My relationship with God was soo unkept that I only read the Bible twice in a two and one half week period and usually only prayed before meals. It was disgusting. Within one week of getting back from Japan, I was going on a missions trip to Chicago. I was so unprepared. That was one of the most spiritually challenging weeks of my life. I learned a lesson though, and I learned it by taking a run in the morning by Lake Michigan with my friend Lauren.
So as most of you who know me probably know...I don't run very far worth a squat. I really like running with people, but those people usually outrun me easily and quickly. One morning on the mission's trip, I was invited to go on a run with three other girls from the youth group. We started all together, but I very soon fell behind because I hardly ever run. Lauren kindly took the initiative to be my partner and "run" with me while the other two sprinted ahead and became small dots along the horizon. Lauren and I got to talk about a lot of things. After running/walking for however many miles (it seemed), we went back to the college campus we were staying at, and showered. My body hurt all over for the next two days.
"Where's the lesson in that?" you may ask. I knew there was a reason I went on the run in the morning and hurt all over for the next two days, and I sought to find it. God showed me in the free time we were given each day on the missions trip to recollect what we had been learning in the lessons. Technically, the same thing that happened before, on, and after the run was happening in my spiritual life. I didn't take time to follow after God, so when I walked into a tough situation, I broke down and felt sorry for myself rather than glorifying God and serving Him. I had spent soo much time doing things for myself in Japan and so little time with God, that when I went on a mission's trip, all I could think about was myself. Pitiful.
For the next three weeks after missions trip, God was able to feed my soul and reteach me things that I had put away in the past. I worked at East Iowa Bible Camp for three weeks and learned a good many things.
1. How to make a really big batch of monster cookies.
2. Wash your hands a lot.
2. Wash your hands a lot.
3. Never walk in the camp kitchen area without shoes.
4. How to clean a urinal.
5. How to make the impossible shot
6. Never to go down a zip line fully clothed at night.
....and so on and so forth. While I was at camp, I learned a lot of things about walking with God, too. One is how to truly worship Him while you're leading music worship in front of a lot of people. Another is that I don't know everything there is to know about the Bible; in fact, the more I read it, the more there is to understand.
So yeah. Over the summer I learned a lot about prioritizing my life. God taught me a lot through my busyness and my idleness as well.
This year, I've decided to limit myself to only a couple of things at a time so I won't lose track of what really matters. Though I'm still quite busy, I'm not nearly as busy as last year. I have time to do devotions and pray, and today I had time to play guitar for the sake of playing guitar.
"One hand full of rest is better than two fists full of labor and striving after wind."
~Ecclesiastes 4:6
(google pic)
Friday, January 15, 2010
Where You Are
I don't know why this is happeningIt's the opposite of what I need
I want to love You with all of my heart
But my body's tearing us apart
It's the same thing again
I'm drowning inside of my sin
And I just want to be where You are
Lord, cradle me in Your arms
Take away my pain
Let me live for You again
You're all I need, capture my heart
'Want a faith that throws away my fears
Faith that washes Your feet with my tears
Faith that lets the blind man see, faith that makes the mute man sing
Faith that holds me together through all the suffering
Here I break down again
I stretch my hands toward the heavens
Cause I just want to be where You are
Lord, cradle me in Your arms
Take away my pain
Let me live for You again
You're all I need, just take my heart
The holes in Your hands and feet
Scream a love that burns on for me
There's nothing that I can do
I'm fixing my eyes on You
Cause I just want to be where You are
Lord, it's in Your wings, I'm safe from every sinful harm
You take away my pain, You wipe away my suffering
You're all I have, You're all I want, there's nothing else
You're in my heart
(yahoo.com pic)
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Psalm 139
O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
You understand my thought from afar.
You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.
Even before there is a word on my tongue,
Behold, O LORD, You know it all.
You have enclosed me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is too high, I cannot attain to it.
Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the dawn,
If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,
Even there Your hand will lead me,
And Your right hand will lay hold of me.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me,
And the light around me will be night,"
Even the darkness is not dark to You,
And the night is as bright as the day.
Darkness and light are alike to You.
For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother's womb.
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them.
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand.
When I awake, I am still with You.
O that You would slay the wicked, O God;
Depart from me, therefore, men of bloodshed.
For they speak against You wickedly,
And Your enemies take Your name in vain.
Do I not hate those who hate You, O LORD?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
I hate them with the utmost hatred;
They have become my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
You understand my thought from afar.
You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.
Even before there is a word on my tongue,
Behold, O LORD, You know it all.
You have enclosed me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is too high, I cannot attain to it.
Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the dawn,
If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,
Even there Your hand will lead me,
And Your right hand will lay hold of me.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me,
And the light around me will be night,"
Even the darkness is not dark to You,
And the night is as bright as the day.
Darkness and light are alike to You.
For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother's womb.
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them.
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand.
When I awake, I am still with You.
O that You would slay the wicked, O God;
Depart from me, therefore, men of bloodshed.
For they speak against You wickedly,
And Your enemies take Your name in vain.
Do I not hate those who hate You, O LORD?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
I hate them with the utmost hatred;
They have become my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.
(NASB)
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Busyness
Today I started to fill out my FAFSA. Next year, I super hope to go to John Brown University, but it costs like $25000 a year. What to do? I'm thinking about getting a job somewhere like TJ Maxx or something, but my mom keeps telling me that I don't have time for a job. I have FCA every Monday, Guitar Club on Tuesdays, Worship Team and Youth Group on Wednesdays, and Church on Sundays, not to mention the various activities for FCA and Youth Group that happen over the weekends...so yeah, my mom is pretty much right...as usual :)
Speaking of Youth Group stuff happening over the weekend...I'm super excited for the end of this month because the last weekend is WINTER RETREAT! Each and every year that I have been in Sr. High youth group I've gone on winter retreat. We travel to a camp in the middle of Iowa (aka in the middle of no where) and have fun fellowshipping and worshipping God for a weekend. It's one of my favorite, if not my most favorite, thing that the youth group does.
This year I'm leading worship with my friend Lauren. We're both a little hesitant at doing so because each and every year our youth group usually invites a special band or group to come in and lead worship for us. Lauren and I usually lead worship on Wednesday nights, but it's nice to get out of the norm sometimes. If we have the right heart in this though, it should be good.
This is sad....I'm currently watching the Patriots bomb it up against Baltimore. If you don't know, the Patriots have been my team since the 3rd grade. I used to go to Isaac Newton Christian Academy, and our mascot was the Patriot, so the team stuck with me. :) But yeah, it's 21-zippo right now, which makes me sad.. anyways..
I've been working my way through CS Lewis' Mere Christianity lately. It's a good book. It's really hard to read. His writing style is somewhat difficult to understand...for me anyways, but I can tell that he's a super intelligent man. I was reading it last night and a line stuck out to me.
"I may repeat 'Do as you would be done by' tell I am black in the face, but I cannot really carry it out till I love my neighbour as myself: and I cannot leaern to love my neighbour as myself till I learn to love God: and I cannot learn to love God except by learning to obey Him."
~CS Lewis
"Jesus answered and said to him, 'If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to himand make Our abode with him.'"
~John 14:23
This is what I've been learning about in my walk with God lately...that I need to have my heart in the right place. If I don't do everything for God, then I am doing everything for myself.
I have to go and do homework and housework now.
God loves you! Have a great day!
Speaking of Youth Group stuff happening over the weekend...I'm super excited for the end of this month because the last weekend is WINTER RETREAT! Each and every year that I have been in Sr. High youth group I've gone on winter retreat. We travel to a camp in the middle of Iowa (aka in the middle of no where) and have fun fellowshipping and worshipping God for a weekend. It's one of my favorite, if not my most favorite, thing that the youth group does.
This year I'm leading worship with my friend Lauren. We're both a little hesitant at doing so because each and every year our youth group usually invites a special band or group to come in and lead worship for us. Lauren and I usually lead worship on Wednesday nights, but it's nice to get out of the norm sometimes. If we have the right heart in this though, it should be good.
This is sad....I'm currently watching the Patriots bomb it up against Baltimore. If you don't know, the Patriots have been my team since the 3rd grade. I used to go to Isaac Newton Christian Academy, and our mascot was the Patriot, so the team stuck with me. :) But yeah, it's 21-zippo right now, which makes me sad.. anyways..
I've been working my way through CS Lewis' Mere Christianity lately. It's a good book. It's really hard to read. His writing style is somewhat difficult to understand...for me anyways, but I can tell that he's a super intelligent man. I was reading it last night and a line stuck out to me.
"I may repeat 'Do as you would be done by' tell I am black in the face, but I cannot really carry it out till I love my neighbour as myself: and I cannot leaern to love my neighbour as myself till I learn to love God: and I cannot learn to love God except by learning to obey Him."
~CS Lewis
"Jesus answered and said to him, 'If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to himand make Our abode with him.'"
~John 14:23
This is what I've been learning about in my walk with God lately...that I need to have my heart in the right place. If I don't do everything for God, then I am doing everything for myself.
I have to go and do homework and housework now.
God loves you! Have a great day!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Good Works
Recently, God has been teaching me about doing good deeds and being thoughtful towards other people. This is what He has shown me: to do it for the Lord, not to look good in other people's eyes. There are a couple of verses that really reach out to me about this:
"For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ."
~Galatians 1:10
"Slaves, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in the sincerity of your heart, as to Christ, not by way of eyeservi ce, as men-pleasers, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart."
~Ephesians 6:5-6
"Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve."
~Colossians 3:23-24
Yeah, I liked to be praised for doing something out of the blue, but I need to focus on what really matters. God should be my first priority.
There's an acronym about this. JOY. J is for Jesus, O is for Others, and Y is for You. Without realizing it, I was spelling this acronym backwards because helping others ultimately made me feel good when I got praise for it.
I confess this needs to change, so if ever I do a good deed for ya'll, you don't have to thank me. Thank God instead. All the glory goes to Him because He is the definition of goodness!
"For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ."
~Galatians 1:10
"Slaves, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in the sincerity of your heart, as to Christ, not by way of eyeservi ce, as men-pleasers, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart."
~Ephesians 6:5-6
"Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve."
~Colossians 3:23-24
Yeah, I liked to be praised for doing something out of the blue, but I need to focus on what really matters. God should be my first priority.
There's an acronym about this. JOY. J is for Jesus, O is for Others, and Y is for You. Without realizing it, I was spelling this acronym backwards because helping others ultimately made me feel good when I got praise for it.
I confess this needs to change, so if ever I do a good deed for ya'll, you don't have to thank me. Thank God instead. All the glory goes to Him because He is the definition of goodness!
(google pic)
Friday, January 1, 2010
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I really like this time of year, with all the parties and noise-makers and whistles and such. The thing I like most about new year's is making resolutions. It's invigorating to have a whole new year to do something dramatic with my life and to have some place to start. There are a few things that I thought were too important to wait till new year's day to start, and I hope to finish those in the upcoming year too.
Last night I got to spend the night with one of my role models. Haley is one of those types of people that I learn from whenever I am around her. She encourages me so much, and with discernment, I can say that she has a heart blazing for God. Our conversations were filled last night with Jesus, biblical passages, hard questions, and prayer. We touched on a lot of topics that made me reflect deeply upon my life and God. You should meet her if you haven't, because she is super awesome.
Have a Happy New Year! And remember God loves you!
Last night I got to spend the night with one of my role models. Haley is one of those types of people that I learn from whenever I am around her. She encourages me so much, and with discernment, I can say that she has a heart blazing for God. Our conversations were filled last night with Jesus, biblical passages, hard questions, and prayer. We touched on a lot of topics that made me reflect deeply upon my life and God. You should meet her if you haven't, because she is super awesome.
Have a Happy New Year! And remember God loves you!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
